The Cost of Trust: A Hard-Learned Lesson in Legal Battles

I don’t usually write about deeply personal matters on my blog. Not because I don’t want to share, but because emotions can cloud my judgment, and I might end up saying things I’ll regret once I’m back to a more stable mindset.

But this time, I feel that my experience might serve as a lesson for others—especially for those in Hinigaran who, like me, have limited options when it comes to legal representation.

A Year Ago: A Father’s Fight for Custody

A year ago, we found ourselves entangled in a custody battle over our granddaughter. My son and his ex-girlfriend had parted ways, and while my husband and I had poured everything we had—financially, emotionally, and physically—from the pregnancy to the delivery and even medical complications we didn’t even know existed until after birth, in the end, our granddaughter, my son’s daughter, was snatched away from us just like that.

It was a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching moment. But instead of drowning in grief, we decided to fight.

We already had a lawyer on retainer, but I felt he wasn’t acting in our best interest. Wanting a second opinion, I asked one of my trusted best friends for a recommendation, and she suggested another lawyer who could assist with a time-sensitive DSWD meeting. That meeting went really well—so well, in fact, that we thought, why not have her handle the entire custody case?

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

The Price of Desperation

A few hours after our face-to-face meeting, the lawyer messaged me her fee: ₱100,000.00. She justified the high price, saying custody cases are complex and require extensive legal work.

Now, let’s be clear—we are not rich. But we love our granddaughter more than anything, so we were willing to pay whatever it took to help our son fight for her.

But then, my best friend—the very person who recommended her—immediately objected.

Apparently, she and her husband had bad experiences with this lawyer. They continued using her for minor legal transactions but warned me that she had serious financial mismanagement issues.

That was red flag #1. But did we listen? Nope. Because desperation does that to people.

We took the risk and paid the full amount. But not without some level of precaution—we had her draft a document stating that she would fully refund the amount if she failed to deliver.

Delay After Delay After Delay

As days passed, we noticed that she was stalling. The court case was never filed, and the dispute was eventually handled by DSWD Hinigaran instead. My son and his ex reached a mutual agreement about visitation, rendering the court case unnecessary.

At this point, the lawyer had done very little actual work.

But at least there was a silver lining: she had committed to refunding the full ₱100,000.00 if the case didn’t push through.

Simple, right?

The Nightmare Begins

And that’s when the excuses started.

Since some work was done, we decided to be fair. We told her she could keep ₱30,000.00 (which, if I’m being honest, was already way too much for what she actually did). That left a balance of ₱70,000.00 to be refunded.

At first, she was full of “I’ll send it next week” and “I just need a little more time.” Then, slowly, she began avoiding our calls.

Then she blocked me.

On social media. On text messaging. Everywhere.

I even sent someone to her house to personally request the refund—but guess what? She just kept making up one excuse after another.

The Realization & the Ripple Effect

It turns out my best friend was right all along.

My son later told me that his friend’s uncle had the exact same experience with this lawyer. And then I discovered two more people in town who are still waiting for their money from her.

The worst part? We really need that refund right now.

We are currently working on a house construction in Bacolod, and because of this loss, we had to pause everything while we save up again. We had to tell our carpenters to stop working for now because our funds are tight.

Lesson Learned: Choose Your Lawyer Wisely

I am sharing this story not out of anger, but out of hope that this will serve as a lesson to anyone in Hinigaran who might find themselves in a similar situation.

Since our town has limited legal options, people tend to go with whoever is readily available—which is exactly how we fell into this trap. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s this:

✔️ Do your research before hiring a lawyer. Even if they come highly recommended, ask around. You might be surprised by what you learn.

✔️ Trust your gut. The moment you hear consistent warnings about someone, don’t ignore them. Desperation should never override discernment.

✔️ Never pay in full unless absolutely necessary. If we had paid in installments, we would have had more leverage.

✔️ Have everything in writing—but also be prepared to fight for it. A written agreement means nothing if the other party refuses to honor it.

If this blog post helps even one person avoid the same mistake, then at least something good will have come out of this nightmare.

👉 Have you ever had a similar experience? What lessons did you learn? Share your thoughts in the comments.