So, Ralph and I decided we needed to treat ourselves because, obviously, eating good food is basically a life requirement. Last Saturday, we ventured to Italianni’s Restaurant in Ayala Mall, part of the Bistro Group, because Ralph was in an “Italian mood.” (Apparently, our usual Modern Shang fix just wasn’t cutting it. It’s cool, I’m not offended.)

We were greeted by Pam, who, bless her, is probably used to people like us who think the world revolves around good food. Honestly, she’s an angel. Pam for President 2024, am I right?

Ralph, being predictable in his pasta-loving ways, ordered Lasagna. I, of course, had to go for the Truffle Chicken and Mushroom because, you know, gotta keep it classy. Both were delicious, and by that, I mean they were so good we temporarily forgot the word “diet” exists.

Now, here’s where the plot thickens—dessert. I went for the Blueberry Mango Cheesecake because I’m a sucker for anything that sounds remotely healthy (fruit, right?), while Ralph had to one-up me with the Tartufo.

Let’s pause for a moment to appreciate this: each dessert was easily enough for two people. But since we’re “overachievers,” we pretended like that didn’t apply to us. Ralph got busy helping me with my cheesecake while waiting for his Tartufo (which takes a while because the sauce is apparently made from, I don’t know, unicorn tears).

But by the time the Tartufo finally arrived, we were already bursting at the seams. We took a few polite bites (because who could resist?), then looked at each other and knew… there was no room left. None. So, we had to ask for it to go. Yes, that’s right—we surrendered to the dessert. Not our finest moment, but at least we live to eat another day!

Overall, it was an epic food coma waiting to happen, and we were happy to oblige. Italianni’s did not disappoint, unless you count the fact that we had to be rolled out of there like we were extras in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

So, if you’re looking to indulge in some Italian food and maybe reconsider your life choices afterward, Italianni’s is calling your name. Trust me, you’ll leave happy—and very full.