How Does One Move On From Losing a Child?

I have never been affected by a Facebook status made by other people till I came across the newsfeed of one of my friends whom I worked with during my four-year employment with Mandala Spa & Villas. She and I weren’t super close but I can say that at one point in our lives, we got the chance to know each other very well.

I think I was having my own issues that day… I always have something to whine about, it could have been work-related or simply a case of pure boredom that I think I even attempted to make a shout-out about it.

Then I stumbled on Farrah Hazel Fundador’s Facebook status. The status translated to Lord, please this time I’m asking that you add more to my happiness, please give me my child in English. I knew that it has something to do with Farrah’s kid being sick but the desperation in the tone of her status update suggested the gravity of  her kid’s condition. Without communicating with Farrah yet, I said my silent prayers for her kid and hoped that everything is going to be fine.

That’s when I joined in on “liking” the status. I also said my silent thank you prayer and decided to browse other pages thereafter. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a mother myself, but it really does matter to me when a child is involved. I don’t usually have my Facebook open because I’m also working online and It’s a No-No to have it up while my Odesk takes screen captures of what I’m working on. I do however open it up during break time and before going to sleep.

It was the night of the same day I read the positive status update made by Farrah that I thought I would check on her once more. The last Tagalog line simply translated to: Try to make it my baby. I reviewed Farrah’s family photos to confirm if it’s the older daughter or the younger one who’s involved. I just assumed the first time that she was referring to the youngest since keeps saying the word ‘baby’ and the older daughter isn’t a baby anymore. And I was right. It was her second kid who was sick. I suddenly felt sad looking at baby Tamara’s very fragile state. She’s really tiny and I don’t know how she could have endured the surgery and stress of the whole medical procedure. But I guess prayers did work!

Unfortunately, not all our answered prayers last. Because when I checked in to see how Baby Tamara was doing days after, a very sad status update made by Farrah completely broke my heart and brought me to tears.  I had no idea what had happened since Farrah’s last status update. When I reviewed the timeline, people just started posting their condolences to Farrah. There was no status update on Farrah on what exactly happened that led to Baby Tamara being gone so suddenly. This status update was just Farrah’s reply to the condolences she received. While I write this blog, I still feel the heaviness in my chest. I don’t really know if I could take it if something bad happened to my own kid.

I attempted to post something to Farrah but I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know what to say honestly. I mean, I know for sure that no amount of condoling would bring back Baby Tamara. As a mother, I know that If I were on her shoes, that I would want nothing but only to bring my baby back! But that’s not ever going to happen. And the memories will just make her feel more pain. So instead of posting to her timeline, I decided to leave her a private message to which she also replied to.

I wish and pray that Farrah’s family would soon get over the heartache from this loss.  I mean, how does one move on from losing a loved-one? From losing a child who’s so delicately small? I know that God has ALWAYS a reason for inflicting pain into our lives. Perhaps, baby Tamara would have had to endure more physical pain had she not been taken away. One thing is for sure though, that Tamara is now OK. And I think as a mother, that’s where we should pull our strength from: that is, the realization that Our Baby Is Ok, coz that’s what really matters at the end of the day.

Farrah, if you ever get to read this, you know that you and baby Tamara will always be in my prayers.