Adventures in Spiritual Reset: Battling Energy Vampires with Sarcasm and Resilience

Dive back into my rollercoaster called life, because I’m serving another chaotic, serendipitous, mildly hilarious (or harrowing, depending on how you look at it) episode of my personal journey. A bit of warning: fasten your seatbelts, as this ride is filled with energy vampires, personal dilemmas, and more plot twists than an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

So, my spiritual guru Master G did warn me about this. Energy vampires, she said. Energy suckers, I heard. Well, I suppose I’ve stumbled right into a whole coven of them since I started my spiritual journey. Trust me when I say, I’ve been more religiously devoted to my meditation, breathworks, and Mala routines than a diehard Star Wars fan is to every film release. And of course, as if I had sent an open invitation, the energy vampires arrived in full force.

Let’s switch gears for a moment, folks. Currently, my niece is in the hospital. It’s not for her, but for her little bundle of joy who’s proving to be a bit more of a challenge than anticipated. Now, this situation is giving my brother’s wallet a real workout. Picture an old, worn-out boxing glove going ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Spoiler alert: the glove doesn’t stand a chance. Naturally, with this twist, my brother might find himself playing a game of financial tag with me, and guess who’s “it”? Yep, yours truly — aka the “emergency bank”. Quite the turn of events, right? But don’t worry, my sense of humor is still standing strong, and my generosity hasn’t gone on vacation!

Onto the next energy vampire — our truck. Oh, the audacity of that chunk of metal! On a fine Friday, my husband Ralph planned to visit Hinigaran BDO. In a stunning act of rebellion, the car decided to play dead. So, after spending Php8,400 on a new battery — yes, my dear energy vampire watching brothers, that was a real transaction — the car grudgingly agreed to serve its purpose.

Saturday was not my day either. Just as I was getting ready for yoga, Ralph was down with a fever that would make a tea kettle blush. Bacolod and yoga will have to wait for another day.

Just when I thought I’ve hit my quota for the week’s energy vampires, Sunday decided to join the party. Our bathroom floor was flooded, thanks to a leaky sink. And of course, our vanishing plumber was playing hide-and-seek with his phone. Solution? My financially trapped brother became the day’s plumber hero. A generous payment later, at least one crisis was averted.

You know, it’s almost becoming an uncanny tradition. The last time I embarked on my spiritual journey, our Ford Everest broke down and our MacBook computer died just weeks after its warranty had expired. It’s like my spiritual awakening is the Bat Signal for all things chaotic.

But I’m going to keep this short, sweet, and not-too-exasperating. Despite the barrage of energy vampires, this time, I’m not backing down. Spirituality, prepare to get a face full of stubborn resistance. Until then, I hope you’ve enjoyed this series of unfortunate events that is my life.

Until the next chaos, keep laughing and smiling. It’s the best defence against any energy vampire!