Well, folks, it finally happened. The long-overdue night out with Jusha is now a glorious (and slightly hazy) memory. Ever since Yui was born, Ralph and I have been locked into full-on grandparent mode. Fun? What’s that again? Oh yeah, clubbing! But when you’ve got an adorable little human demanding all your attention, hitting up the nightlife scene takes a solid backseat.

Saturday Yoga Return: The Awkward Comeback

Of course, the day didn’t just start with neon lights and bass-thumping beats. We kicked it off the proper way—with yoga. You know, the normal session, not the realignment one I’ve been sticking to lately. OMG. Let me just tell you, it’s been weeks since I’ve flowed through a regular class. Why? Well, life. It’s been back-to-back Saturdays of unavoidable stuff that made us miss it.

So, there I was, hopping back into the groove, and man, did I feel like a fish out of water. Everyone else was moving like yoga goddesses, while I stood there internally screaming, “Where am I? What even is this pose?” It was excruciatingly painful, and not in that “hurts-so-good” kind of way—more like, “What have I done to deserve this?”

Post-Yoga Adventures: Lunch, Movies, and…The Joker?

After surviving yoga (barely), we had some time to kill because, you know, check-in at Sukro wasn’t until 2 PM, and it was just a little past 11 after we stuffed ourselves at Kenny Rogers. So, what do you do with a couple of hours to spare? Catch a movie! The selection was tragically limited, but Ralph, bless his heart, was curious about the new Joker movie—the one starring Lady Gaga. Yeah, let’s just say, we didn’t expect it to be a musical. Surprise!

We were literally the only people in Cinema 3. Just me, Ralph, and the awkward realization that maybe we made a mistake. I mean, Joker as a musical? Sure, it passed the time, but let’s just say it didn’t make our “must-watch-again” list.

Dinner, Parking, and La Jefa

After our, um, unique cinematic experience, it was time to gear up for the night. La Jefa Club was the ultimate destination, and being the responsible adults we are, we figured we’d secure a parking spot by having dinner nearby. Bacolod Chicken House on Araneta was the lucky spot because it’s literally right next to Metrodome, where La Jefa is. You can’t go wrong with chicken inasal before a night of dancing, right?

We rolled into the club early, wanting to be on top of things, and here’s where the magic started. Thanks to Erica, who, of course, knew people (and her boyfriend is one of the DJ’s there), we were ushered straight into the VIP lounge the moment we got in. Apparently, she had made a call ahead and reserved it for us. I wasn’t complaining! VIP status? Yes, please!

VIP Treatment: Because We’re Fancy Like That

Here’s where it gets wild. At some point, I look up and what do I see? Our names flashed on the big screen behind the DJ, welcoming us to La Jefa. Yup, it read “Welcome to La Jefa Dia and Ralph.” I’m not gonna lie, I felt like a rockstar.

Things escalated quickly after that. Let’s just say I got wasted. And here’s where things took a fun turn. Nature called, as it tends to when you’re having that kind of night, and of course, the bathrooms are downstairs. Now, imagine a tipsy, wobbly me navigating stairs. No thanks! Thankfully, the bouncers at La Jefa were absolute saints. One of them held my hand (because drunk people and stairs do not mix), and another cleared the way so I could pass without causing a scene. Not sure if this is their protocol or they just took pity on me, but I’m forever grateful!

Now, let’s talk about Ralph for a sec. If you know Ralph, you know he’s not one to just bust out some moves—especially not during our post-yoga photoshoots. But somehow, Jusha and Erica worked their magic, and I kid you not, Ralph was dancing. Yup. The yoginis would have been SO proud. The man was swaying, people!

The Price of a Good Night Out

Around 2 AM, I started to feel that familiar urge to vomit (classy, I know), so I nudged Ralph and we made our exit. Now here’s the kicker: apparently, La Jefa charges a Php3,500 vomit fee. Like, what?! Not to mention there’s a Php30,000 barfight fee, in case anyone’s feeling extra spicy. So, yeah, no scenes for us, thanks.

We made it back to Sukro and called it a night. But let me tell you—this night? Absolutely one for the books. Ralph and I had the best time, and I can confidently say that we still know how to let loose. Who knew being grandparents could be this fun?

So, to all the party animals out there—or those who just want to be treated like VIPs—if you ever find yourself in Bacolod, do yourself a favor and hit up La Jefa. Just don’t forget about those fees!