Let’s talk about the utter madness of Ninja Van Philippines. My husband orders this absolutely gorgeous 50mm-90mm Natural Clear Quartz Ball from Etsy—a crystal he’s been dreaming of but using my account. Shipped from China by SF Express, all was smooth until it landed in the Philippines. That’s when the parcel entered Ninja Van’s Bermuda Triangle of nonsense.

On September 9, I got that delightful notification: “Out for Delivery.” Awesome, right? Nope. No knock on the door, no ring of the phone. Instead, the tracking system pulled a fast one and switched to “Delivery Exception.” Oh, cool. What now? Aftership, being the helpful soul that it is, suggested to contact the shipper before the parcel does a disappearing act back to sender. That would be Quartzhome, who by the way, is super responsive (take notes, Ninja Van). They immediately reached out to the courier to resolve the issue.

That’s when we entered The Twilight Zone of excuses. The shipper tells me the courier (who I now realize is none other than the mighty Ninja Van) claimed they had the wrong address. I mean, really? I have one address on file in Etsy. One. And it’s correct. But okay, benefit of the doubt (you know, because I’m nice like that). I confirm everything to the seller, even send them a Google Map screenshot like some sort of delivery detective. I even gave my mobile number, which will be important in a second.

Lo and behold, the tracking miraculously changes from “Delivery Exception” to “In Transit” again. Great, right? Wrong. Today rolls around, and guess what? Another round of “Out for Delivery,” and my husband is getting all excited because he’s planning to have it energized by Master G during the next full moon meditation. The anticipation is real.

So, I’m sitting here waiting like a kid on Christmas, only to get that sinking feeling around 4 p.m.—we’re probably not getting it today, are we? My instincts were spot on. At 5 p.m., the tracking again flips from “Out for Delivery” to—you guessed it—“Delivery Exception.” But this time, the story gets wilder. Apparently, the rider “couldn’t reach the recipient.” Excuse me, what? Not a single call, not a single text, nothing. I was basically chained to my phone all day, waiting for the magical ring that never came.

Here’s the kicker: I even asked the shipper to request the rider’s number so I could call them myself. Nope, Ninja Van wouldn’t cough it up. I guess they’re too busy fabricating these “attempted” deliveries to do their actual job.

So now, we’re in limbo again. The status has once again been reverted to “In Transit.” Sure, Ninja Van. Let’s play this game again tomorrow, shall we?

Honestly, why even be in the business of delivering items if you can’t be bothered to deliver?

Blog Post Update (September 12, 2024):

So, here’s an interesting twist. The next morning, we were contacted by Ninja Van’s escalation team, who finally provided the contact information for the elusive delivery guy. A few hours later—drumroll please—the package was finally delivered!

But here’s where it gets even more absurd. The rider? Turns out he’s our usual delivery guy, someone we’ve known from countless deliveries through Shopee, Lazada, and TikTok. You’d think that recognizing our address would’ve been second nature for him by now. So, naturally, I asked him, “What took you so long to deliver, especially when you already know where we live?”

His response? “The parcel was just handed to me to deliver today!” Unbelievable. Apparently, the earlier delivery “attempts” never even made it into his hands until now! 🤦‍♀️