Killing Procrastination

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Wow, you will not believe the dream I had last night or shall I say this morning because I remember actually falling asleep after 2AM. I wouldn’t say the dream was weird because it is something that happens in real life. Well to begin with, I was obviously single in my dream because I didn’t see my husband anywhere in the scene. The location was at my parent’s house which is where I currently reside, but instead of seeing familiar faces who are supposed to be my family members, It appeared I was living with people whose faces were unknown to me. I remember that I was accommodating a big family over at our house. Initially, It all looked like they were just there for a vacation, but as the dream progresses, it was revealed that they were the family of my supposedly ‘boyfriend’ . Ok so there is one weird thing about it that I remember after all — the face of my supposedly ‘boyfriend’ was not even familiar to me but it was depicted in such a way that we all know each other because we all went through the motion. However, I can’t remember a single scene where I was having some emotional attachment to him. Another unfamiliar face of a girl was later revealed who turned out to be my ‘boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. The next scenes hit right close to home though when my ‘boyfriend’ broke up with me because he just realized that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. That is why the girl was there; he invited her over (yeah, to my house!). I say it hits close to home because when he broke the news to me, I felt all the pains I have gone through when I had my heart broken in ‘real life’. My chest was very heavy and I actually cried (in my dream). The last scene starred a close friend of mine, Wilnnie Grace Caguan. She’s the only one in the cast who really exists in real life. She was very upset with what had happened and insisted that because the jerk broke up with me, that I should kick all his family members out of my house. I remember refusing to do it out of politeness so she went ahead and talked to the strangers. One of the guys only said that they didn’t know about the break up and that there’s no reason to kick them out because they’re all rooting for me!

And now I’m wide awake and staring at my computer screen. I actually woke up after 7am because my brother started working on the construction we hired him to do and the loud banging of his hammer jolted me out of the dream world. I don’t know what to make of the dream though. I don’t remember having anyone break up with me in the past because I had this attitude where I was too proud to be left behind so I always made sure I leave first. Yeah, I had an ego problem too. But that didn’t mean I was in full control of my emotions. I may have appeared to be strong but when no one was looking, I broke down a lot of times. Maybe the dream was to make me touch base with my emotions. There were so many things bottled up I guess that needed to be assessed. I just didn’t imagine that hurting me in my dreams would be the tool to get to it.

Anyway, I didn’t really mean to post this stuff but I couldn’t get myself to start clocking in and work. I thought that if I could probably kill the procrastination by getting something done first, then I’d be motivated to get back to work. It is working though. I’m now in a hurry to finish this off and do something productive.

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