Has God left the building?

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These past few weeks have been such a nightmare for me. First was my dad’s hospitalization which caused everyone to be too stressed out not only financially but also emotionally. While we are so thankful that my father survived it, he’s just not the same person anymore; his memory is sometimes so messed up that even though he recognizes us, his memory relieves the past events– he would ask about his then co-workers as if they’re still working for him. I kept reminding him over and over that he no longer works for the government as Engineer. I also have to explain to him why he’s having a hard time expressing verbally — his speech is slurred which is caused by the damage to the brain. He also has incoordination with his motor skills.

The hardest thing about dealing with papa’s home care is when he’s being stubborn. He would sometimes yell at my maid who’s been working double-time juggling her responsibilities inside the house and the new responsibilities with my dad. Initially, she refused my offer to increase her salary due to added responsibilities. I assumed she didn’t want to commit to the task of care-giving because she, too, has her own responsibility to her sickly daughter back home and committing to working extra for my father would also mean less time to go home and see her own family. Luckily, she later accepted.

I am no longer working for the school based in Chicago. The board has decided not to continue my contract after two years of working for them. I have no bad feelings about that because they’ve been very good to me. The timing of it was just very bad especially that we’ve just spent a lot for papa’s hospitalization and working for two clients would really help me get back to my feet quickly. But I guess that’s just how it is. I’m still working for the marketing company who has been very supportive and understanding of my situation with papa from day one. And I pray that I get to keep this one for as long as they still want me.

As if things aren’t bad enough, my son Ken Matthew has a Urinary Tract Infection. He’s been having fever and pain in the abdomen area. We sent him to the local doctor days ago who found an infection from his urinalysis lab result. He’s been absent from school because he’s been puking a lot especially after taking his meds.

And as I write this blog entry, I’m also sneezing and coughing. I am not feeling well but I have to get to work. I just hope things are going to get better soon. I’m not sure if I can handle any more stress after all these. My husband, who’s been really down lately, said that maybe God has already left the building. It’s sad that he loses hope so quickly. But I know that He won’t give us hardships that we can’t handle. Just like what my computer background photo say…

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.

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