Emotional Instability


Ralph and I went to Bacolod yesterday to make another deposit at the hospital and take turns in watching papa. The moment I came in to the door, papa already yelled “Dia?” eventhough he couldn’t have seen me yet as he was two beds away from the door with only a curtain dividing each bed. He must have heard my voice when I asked the nurse for the lab gown or the lack thereof.

When I went to kiss him, he immediately cried.  I was worried that his sudden emotional outburst would shoot his blood pressure up so high again. When I got there, his BP read 128/90. I tried to calm him down. At one point the blood pressure rose to 160 but it went back down minutes later. I asked him why he was crying. He said that he was sad that I wasn’t there the night before. He said he really wants that I’m always around. Tears started streaming down my face as well, I told him that if he were to continue to relax and maintain his blood pressure below 140, that he would see me all the time because he would then already be transferred in a private room where we can stay 24/7. That kind of relaxed him a little coz we then started chuckling while talking about other things.

He then asked me how things are in the outside world (laughs). The first thing that came to mind was to inform him of the progress of his favorite prime time TV programs. My father enjoys watching soaps on TV. So I told him that Dyesebel’s secret has already been revealed when her evil stepsister splashed her salt water while walking down the aisle. All of a sudden, papa cried again! So I asked what made him cry. He said he’s crying for Dyesebel! I’m like what????

So I asked his doctor, who was luckily making his rounds the same time I was there, about his sudden crying episodes. He said that sudden crying or being too emotional is a permanent side-effect of Stroke. Also, prior to having stroke, papa was already semi-emotional in character; a little drama scene in his TV programs would really make him sob. The good thing was that the doctor said papa might be out of ICU the next day if his blood pressure continues to stay stable.

The day papa was sent to the hospital, Rey’s wife Rena cleaned papa’s bedroom because that morning we left, papa had peed on his bed. While cleaning, she found my mother’s wedding photo hidden under papa’s pillow. While I found it very romantic, I can’t help but wonder if papa’s longing to reunite with my mother in the after-life is what’s getting him inflicted with his current ailment. I hope not though. Because yesterday, after our brief trip to the mall for Ralph’s lunch, the cab whom I asked to take us back to Bacolod Sanitarium Hospital ended up taking us to Bacolod Memorial Park! I was wondering why he was driving a different route plus the fact that the weather was very bad yesterday. He asked “Were am I supposed to take you again? Bacolod Memorial Park?

Good grief! I almost lost my composure there! I reiterated “Bacolod Sanitarium Hospital!” He probably felt my annoyance coz he kept apologizing over and over then steered us back to the route going to the hospital. When I told Ralph what was happening, he said to the cab driver though I’m not sure if the driver understood it, “No one is dead! The only thing that’s dead right now is our bank account.

I just hope it was purely a mistake and that it didn’t have anything to do with the current situation with papa. I’m still asking for your prayers.